But the best trade-in of all was a thank you note written on a Kirby Post-It. “To the dudes @ GameStop, I hope your day has been well,” it read. “I’m sorry that they are trying to trade in garbage.

Let their fingers prune in a Dr. Teal’s–branded bubble bath, available in lavender; ginseng, ginger, and rhodiola rosea; eucalyptus and spearmint; and shea butter with almond oil. If they haven’t ...

I spent way too much money and ate way too much toast to find out which plant-based butters are actually worth buying.